Burger bliss in Bismarck
I am not sure why, but I like to banter with service people I encounter. Clerks, waitresses, the check-out person at the grocery store- these are all folks that I often strike up a conversation with.
I guess most people are reticent to do this. I don’t know why. I think it livens things up sometimes.
Anyway, the other day I got in an exchange with the order-taker at a drive-up burger-doodle restaurant. I won’t mention the establishment, but let your creative side take you away as you consider the thought of ‘having it your way’ at a fast food place. And I won’t mention the town, except to say that it was very close to Mandan, North Dakota.
Oops, maybe the title gave this away already.
Anyway, when it came time to order I asked how much the sandwich alone cost- without the fries. This is a new burger in their lineup, and I didn’t immediately see it posted.
The conversation went like this:
Me: So, how much is the sandwich alone for the new mushroom-swiss-onion-cheese-onion-more cheese and more-burger?
Formless-voice-in-a-box: $4.99.
Me: Really? That seems expensive.
F-V-I-A-B: huh-huh. yeah.
Me: Would you take $3.99 for it? (My friend with me broke out in laughter at this time)
F-V-I-A-B: uhhh. uhhh. Do you want it?
Me: yeah, but it seems expensive.
F-V-I-A-B: yeah, the price just went up today. (this was a Tuesday)
Me: Really? I was going to come on Monday but didn’t make it. Can I get the Monday price?
F-V-I-A-B: uh….ok. (My friend is laughing hard now)
Me: Great!
F-V-I-A-B: Yeah. OK. Does that complete your order?
Me: No. My friend wants a chicken burger.
F-V-I-A-B: Ok. That will be $4.50
Me: Uhhh….Ok.
As we drove up to pay/pick-up, my friend and I wondered aloud how it came to $4.50, as her order alone was that much.
At the window I paid the $4.50. I then realized I hadn’t ordered a drink. So I asked for a coke.
‘Sure,’ said the clerk, and he brought me the drink.
‘here you go, just take it, I’m not going to charge you.’
As we drove away and down the road home, I started thinking about this encounter. I was struck by the thought- overcome with the thought, really- that I had probably just encountered a real, live undecided voter.
Now I know that seems a bit random, but someone as malleable and seemingly unconcerned with procedure, structure and following restaurant protocol is the type of person most likely (in my mind) to have not really formed an opinion on something as (now stay with me here) abstract as voting for President.
Why do I suggest this would be approaching an abstraction for this clerk? Because if my job consisted of taking food orders from patrons, and then collecting money for those orders, and I was not too concerned about what I actually collected for those orders…why would I care about the choice of the selection of the leader of the free world?
Maybe this is crazy logic, but I don’t think so.
As I drove down the interstate, I became more certain that this clerk was either an undecided voter or someone who was not going to vote. And I was upset with myself that I hadn’t engaged in a discussion with the guy on that subject.
This led to an imaginary interview which went as follows:
Me: Thanks for the whopper of a deal on the new burger.
Likely Undecided Voter: No problem
Me: Let me ask you something; are you going to vote for President next week?
LUV: yeah, probably.
Me: Have you decided who you will vote for?
LUV: uhhh…not really.
Me: Bingo! Damn! Wow. I am speechless.
LUV: uhhh…ok.
Me: see, I think this is so interesting. To me it’s like seeing Bigfoot. I just didn’t think something like this would be possible.
LUV: seeing bigfoot?
Me: No. Meeting an undecided voter.
LUV: why?
Me: Why? Because it is…uh, in my mind being undecided at this point is so hard to understand. I mean, the differences between the two candidates seem to be quite clear. For me it is not something I don’t….uh, understand. I am trying to be polite, but, if you can’t see the clear distinction these two candidates provide, what exactly are you thinking?
LUV: I don’t know
Me: you don’t know. Does one seem to be clearly to the left of the political spectrum and the other clearly to the right?
LUV: uh, I guess. what is your point?
Me: My point….my point is that with such clear differences between the two, how can it be possible to be undecided?
LUV: I don’t know. I guess I stay pretty busy here at my job and I don’t pay that much attention.
Me: You are pretty consumed with work? That pretty much drains all your time?
As you can see, my imaginary conversation led nowhere. And since I have missed dinner and am now starving, I am headed to a local Burger Doodle to see what kind of deal I can get.
Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday.