Here are just a few things I have heard recently that were humorous to me. Perhaps you will enjoy one or two as well.

1. This first one comes from a college football television sports announcer:

‘you know, offensive players love going into halftime with a lead.’

Really? You don’t say? They like to have a lead? And I wonder how the defensive players from that same team feel about it?

2. this is a comment from my friend, after I told him my 93 year-old mother had recently started wandering the halls after bedtime, knocking on fellow residents’ doors at her assisted-living home:

‘hey, I bet those other folks like getting a visitor. You should celebrate this.’

my buddy almost always finds a creative way to look at things.

3. An acquaintance, after the recent news about The Chicago Tribune and other newspapers on the brink of collapse:

‘newspapers are f______ 8-track tapes.’

‘old industries don’t die, they just fade away.’

4. the same acquaintance, after a recent blogpost by Dallas Mavericks owner and all-around crazy guy Mark Cuban (ok, maybe he’s not crazy- how about annoying?) that offered his ideas to save the newspaper industry. Cuban feels NBA basketball teams like his need newspapers , so he suggests that professional sports teams pay the sportswriter’s salaries, which would reduce costs to the newspaper:

‘That will never work. The newspaper industry is a dead man walking.’

‘maybe Dead Man Walking author Sister Helen Prejean could also say a few prayers for the industry’

5. Remember the incident in Minneapolis last November at a Minnesota Gophers vs. Iowa Hawkeyes football game? Around halftime a man and woman were caught having sex in a bathroom stall. And apparently a crowd had gathered to cheer the two trysters on. Turns out the deed-doing duo consists of one 38 year-old married female and one 26 (at the time) year-old male who has a girlfriend.

After the incident, the husband of the woman said that ‘he felt bad he let his wife go to the bathroom by herself before halftime, and that he ‘didn’t realize how bad off she was.’

That was probably an awkward ride home.

‘People, people…where are your boundaries?‘

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 1st, 2009 at 5:14 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.