I know how you can make a million dollars. Make that a billion. I have a billion dollar business idea.

And you don’t have to send me $29.99 to learn more. I will just tell you.

When you go to get your hair cut, they often wash your hair, right?

That massaging of the scalp during the wash and rinse is my favorite part. It is heaven.

It rivals sex. I like it better than a conventional massage, the back and body type.

Ok, so….offer THAT as a service. The head massage. Add it to the list of other items, along with a cut, a perm, color, what have you. That is my billion dollar idea.

I have shared this sunburst of insight with my stylist. She likes the idea. Or at least likes it enough to say, “yeah, that’s a good idea.” Maybe what she actually likes is having me as a customer, because thus far she hasn’t added the head massage to her list of services.

Maybe she is afraid to tell me it isn’t such a great idea, fearing I may not take the rejection well and would leave her. I don’t know. I think I will ask her the next time she delivers one of those orgasmatrons of head-massaging pleasure.

I imagine the conversation going like this: (names, uh.. the name has been changed to protect Carol’s identity. All IQ’s remain the same, however)

Me: Mary, remember you said you liked my head-massage idea?

Mary: Uh, yeah.

Me: Well, I was thinking. If you agree it’s a good idea, why don’t you do it?

Mary: Uh, I don’t know.

Me: Ok. That’s hard to argue with. And to understand.

Mary: Huh?

Me: Never mind.

Mary: Whatever.

Now, I believe massage therapists offer this service but I am told that they don’t do it while washing your hair. So, there is no water and lather to make it just right. I understand that when they do the head massage it is actually noisy, as the human head of hair is a veritable deafening instrument to the possessor of that head when said head is rubbed vigorously without the necessary lubricating ingredients.

If my stylist doesn’t move on this idea soon I am going to take action. I am going to schedule a massage with a massage therapist and I will bring along some shampoo.

This may just be a marketing issue.